Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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