I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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