I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
