was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
