i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
