If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
