So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
