Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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