I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
