Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
