you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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