So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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