i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
