next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
