Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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