Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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