I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize