with your own penis?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
