Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
