So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize