he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
