So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
