i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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