We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize