its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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