I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
