I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
