Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
