i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
