I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
