I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
