This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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