At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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