i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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