So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize