so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At least make sure they are 18
Why
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
