At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize