Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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