we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
