Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
