Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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