I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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