there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
