I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
