K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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