don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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