I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We are all done wearing pants today
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
