absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
