haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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