I wish I could punch you in the face.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
