Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
