Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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