So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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