lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
