He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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