Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize