Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
