I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
