Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
