Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
