I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
