I didn't shave. On purpose
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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